This is a continuation of The Biggest Flex is Self-Awareness. You can read more here.
Self-awareness is a gradual cognitive and emotional development process that begins in infancy and continues throughout our lives. While self-awareness may emerge in rudimentary forms during early childhood, it becomes more complex and refined as we mature. As we grow, we gain a deeper understanding of our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and their impact on ourselves and others. Significant life experiences, interactions with others, and periods of introspection often prompt heightened self-awareness, leading to profound insights into our identity, values, and purpose.
My Rude Awakening
I didn’t fully step into my journey of self-awareness until my late 20s. I blacked out my cubicle at my then-corporate job, and I couldn’t understand why. My work phone wouldn’t stop ringing; the e-mails and tears overflowed. I was overwhelmed and shaking. After being met with several panic attacks and crying episodes, I decided to commit to therapy for over four years. We unpacked everything from my childhood traumas and my personal and professional relationships.
In those moments, I discovered work that needed to be done within myself. Work that no one else could do or was responsible for. Unpacking my emotional and energetic suitcase, spreading everything out, and taking a hard look at every item since birth has allowed me to examine the dark and light within myself. This examination was the doorway to my neverending spiritual journey, beckoning me into a labyrinth of learning, forgiveness, revelation, growth, and liberation.
Relationship Changes
As I ventured deeper into self-awareness, my journey extended into my relationships, prompting me to unravel relationship dynamics and layers while consistently looking in the mirror and holding the mirror up to my loved ones, forcing them to see themselves and how they exist in a relationship with me, no matter how uncomfortable those conversations were.
Some of these relationships evolved.
Others dissolved.
A small amount transformed (including my marriage).
The more self-aware I became, the more my life path and desires became. I released ten to twenty-five-year friendships that had bound me in loyalty's grasp. I asserted my need for respect from family members who treated me like a child.
The energetic dissymmetry of their expectation to meet them where they were at, instead of mutually meeting halfway to work together to transform our relationship, caused these imbalanced relationships to vibrate out of my life.
This realization is one I've had to accept to cultivate peace in my life and maintain my energetic hygiene.
The older I get, the deeper my self-awareness becomes. - Key Ocho
Self-Awareness as a Practice
As I navigate my self-awareness journey, I’ve discovered that self-awareness is not a state to be attained but a continuous practice to be cultivated. It requires a deliberate and ongoing effort to observe, reflect, and explore the intricacies of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
Like any skill or discipline, self-awareness demands patience, commitment, and mindfulness. It involves setting aside dedicated time for introspection, meditation, or journaling, allowing us to delve beneath the surface of our consciousness and uncover hidden truths.
Through this practice, we develop a heightened sensitivity to our internal landscape, honing our ability to recognize patterns, triggers, and areas for growth. Moreover, self-awareness as a practice extends beyond solitary reflection to encompass our interactions with others. It involves actively seeking feedback, engaging in honest dialogue, and remaining open to new perspectives, fostering deeper connections and mutual understanding.
Practicing self-awareness empowers us to live with intention, authenticity, and compassion, guiding us toward personal growth, fulfillment, and meaningful relationships.
“Self-awareness is like a flower; it blooms from the seeds of introspection and nourishment of understanding, casting its fragrance of enlightenment upon the garden of our consciousness.” - Key Ocho
Soul Offering | Self-Awareness Practice
Seeking feedback in all relationships (romantic relationships, friends, work relationships) is critical to fostering open communication, growth, and mutual understanding. This practice is an offering to help you become more in tune with your own self-awareness:
Initiate Contact: Reach out to the person you’d like to receive feedback from and be transparent on what you’d like to discuss. Ask them if they have the capacity for the conversation.
Safe Space: Create a safe environment to foster open and honest communication. Both parties should be calm and relaxed during this time with minimal distractions.
Express Intentions: Begin the conversation by expressing your intentions for receiving feedback and letting the other party know their perspective is valued.
Open-ended Questions: Open-ended questions invite sharing thoughts, feelings, and observations.
Practice Active Listening: When the other party shares feedback, listen actively without interrupting or becoming defensive. Body language and tone are essential.
Clarify and Reflect: After the feedback session, take time to clarify, reflect, and rephrase to enforce understanding. Ask clarifying questions as needed.
Express Gratitude: Regardless of the feedback, express gratitude for their time, thoughts, and feelings.
Take ownership and Accountability: If harm has been caused, take ownership of your actions, acknowledge mistakes, apologize, and commit to making changes.
Discuss solutions and Follow-up: Work together to discuss solutions that can improve the relationships. Your newfound feedback is a tool that can be used for growth and relationship improvement.
Remain Open: Be open to exchanging feedback and encourage open communication. Creating safe spaces where both parties feel comfortable expressing thoughts, wants, and needs have the ability to cultivate self-awareness in yourself and those you love.
Bonus: if sharing and receiving feedback feels hard for you in your romantic relationships, try holding hands. Curious about this concept? Read more by clicking here.
What’s your experience with practicing self-awareness?
Side Note: As I explore how I would like to show up on this platform, I’ve created a survey for you to respond to below. Your response would be greatly appreciated! You can take the survey by clicking the button below. Thank you!